As women and moms, we tend to get busy! Our energy is squeezed from us all day long by our job and our kids, and then, somehow, we have to find leftover energy for our husband. Somehow we figure it out and manage, because that’s what we do. If we can make it through childbirth, we can do anything! But do we really want to go through life simply managing our marriage? Wouldn’t it be much better to enjoy our marriage? I have been learning what that looks like for me and my husband, and I made a nice, neat list of 10 marriage tips, so you can rock your marriage too!
I will say, real quickly, this post is geared towards wives because, well, I’m a woman and that’s the only perspective I can share!
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10 Marriage Tips to Start Today:
1. Stop talking and listen.
Golly! Why are we so horrible at listening? I used to think I was the best communicator on the planet until one day, someone told me that communicating doesn’t just mean talking. It mainly means listening, like really listening and I fail at that. Yes, sometimes listening to your husband talk about work, again, can be so boring, but it seriously means the world to him. And we might all notice our husbands becoming better communicators if we actually stop talking long enough to let them say something.
2. Take interest in his interests.
The other day, I spent a whole 2 hour car ride talking about nothing but cars. It started off really boring. I hate talking about cars, so I was tuning out half of what he was saying. But then I caught myself! I started really focusing and really listening to what he was saying and asking specific questions. He LOVED it! Let’s be honest – I will probably never use the information I learned, but that’s not the point. The point is that my husband feels cared about.
3. Your marriage is a “competition” (but not against each other!)
Marriage is not just a walk in the park – it’s hard work! Don’t take your husband for granted or give him the slightest reason to look somewhere else. Instead, learn to be what he needs. Think back to when you were dating and you rocked at looking for every opportunity to make him fall more in love with you. Or maybe you didn’t quite rock it, but now is your chance to outshine even yourself! What women doesn’t want to win? I don’t want to become complacent or lazy in my marriage. Even though I know my husband has eyes for only me, I still love to compete for him daily!
4. Take a few seconds each day to text him something over the top.
I don’t care how busy you are, we all have time to send a text. Send him something totally sweet, over the top and totally flirty, that lets him know you are thinking about him. Think back to the kind of things you used to say when you were dating. Just double check to make sure you are sending it the right person before you click send.
5. Don’t talk bad about him.
Not to his face or to your friends. Remember that even if you “just joke” negatively, it eventually builds up to be a real thing subconsciously.
6. Marriage is a two way street, but you can only change yourself.
There are times in life that you just have to be the bigger person and make the changes that you know are needed to improve your relationship. And who knows, initiating the kindness might just set the spark in him too.
7. Be wrong.
Admitting fault shows courage. Remember – your marriage is not a competition with each other and there’s no need to keep score.
8. Fight fair.
This was a huge lesson I learned early in our marriage. What does it mean to fight fair? Read about it here.
9. Splurge on the expensive hair cut or the new outfit.
Splurge a little on something that makes you feel special and wow your husband. Plus as a bonus, it’ll make us feel so much better about ourselves too. We won’t have to avoid mirrors anymore. Instead we can glance and smile at ourselves because we know we look good. And that confidence will be the most attractive thing to your spouse.
10. Dream together.
Dreams are what bring depth into your marriage and help you through the rough times. Don’t just make one year goals, make a crazy bucket list together or dream about traveling the world. Remember, you only live once. Next time you go out on a date {see our $10 date idea here} dream together! And don’t forget to have fun together!
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MORE RESOURCES FOR YOUR MARRIAGE:
CREATED TO BE HIS HELP MEET — BY DEBI PEARL (affiliate link)
I can not say enough good things about this book. A great resource that shows the balance of respecting your husband without getting steam rolled in the process. I truly believe it’s possible to follow your dreams and also have a beautiful marriage relationship.
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Great post of reminders! Since I stay home with baby it is easy to stay in pj’s or sweats all day. But hubs likes to see me in something cute. For sure taking the time to look decent sometimes and sending texts does make a big difference! I do agree about the dreaming together. I know for us that is something that really makes us feel connected. When we spend time talking and planning to work towards our goals or on our projects.
#3…We have a silly little system of “wife points”, where I get a point every time I participate in a long conversation or show my knowledge of his favorite topics (Lord of the Rings, Star Wars). The points mean nothing, but it’s a fun way of making sure I really listen and even remember facts about his fandoms.
Thanks for this great post! I am going to be working on numbers 9 and 10!
Thank you for this list! I used to send my husband flirty text messages all the time, but have completely stopped since starting a family. I’m going to focus on picking that back up. Thanks again!
This is awesome. I love your tips