When she looks back…

Every night as I put my three-year-old to sleep I ask her, “What do you want to do tomorrow?” and every night she would say the same thing.

“Play chase.”

Until one night she didn’t say it.

My heart hurt. I started wondering if I had stopped enough times to actually play chase. Just to check, I asked again, “What do you want to do tomorrow?”

“I don’t know.”

My mommy mind starting going a million miles a minute. Did we not play chase enough or was it because she was growing up? Either way, I needed time to stop or at least slow down to give me a moment to breathe.

Then next day I told my husband, Corey, all about this. He immediately got up, dressed our little girl and went outside to play.

I went to put on my shoes to go with them but then I saw my other sweet child, a one-year-old boy with a runny nose and a cough. It was a little too cold for him to go outside.

And there I stood. My babies were growing up. I didn’t want to miss a moment but as badly as I wanted too I couldn’t be in two places.

In that moment my heart and my mind clicked.

I can’t do it all. I humanly can’t.

And when my daughter is older, she won’t be able to do it all either.

Balancing everything life gives us is hard. When you’re a mom, it’s even harder.

The next moment I get I will absolutely play chase with her but there will also be moments when I can’t.

Here’s what I hope she remembers when she looks back…

I hope my daughter remembers the moments I stopped everything and did play chase with her.

I also hope she remembers, the times I couldn’t because I was feeding her little brother. Or the time I asked her to play by herself because I needed a moment of “me time”.

I hope she remembers the times she went to grandmas so daddy and I could go on dates and focus on us.

I hope my daughter sees that I took the time to create essential moments with her and her brother while also balancing my marriage to her daddy and time for my own personal self.

And I hope she remembers the times I made mistakes and then took the steps to fix them.

I hope she remembers it all – playing chase together and all the moments in between.

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