Every night as I put my three-year-old to sleep I ask her, “What do you want to do tomorrow?” and every night she would say the same thing.
Until one night she didn’t say it.
My heart hurt. I started wondering if I had stopped enough times to actually play chase. Just to check, I asked again, “What do you want to do tomorrow?”
“I don’t know.”
My mommy mind starting going a million miles a minute. Did we not play chase enough or was it because she was growing up? Either way, I needed time to stop or at least slow down to give me a moment to breathe.
Then next day I told my husband, Corey, all about this. He immediately got up, dressed our little girl and went outside to play.
I went to put on my shoes to go with them but then I saw my other sweet child, a one-year-old boy with a runny nose and a cough. It was a little too cold for him to go outside.
And there I stood. My babies were growing up. I didn’t want to miss a moment but as badly as I wanted too I couldn’t be in two places.
In that moment my heart and my mind clicked.
I can’t do it all. I humanly can’t.
And when my daughter is older, she won’t be able to do it all either.
Balancing everything life gives us is hard. When you’re a mom, it’s even harder.
The next moment I get I will absolutely play chase with her but there will also be moments when I can’t.
Here’s what I hope she remembers when she looks back…
I hope my daughter remembers the moments I stopped everything and did play chase with her.
I also hope she remembers, the times I couldn’t because I was feeding her little brother. Or the time I asked her to play by herself because I needed a moment of “me time”.
I hope she remembers the times she went to grandmas so daddy and I could go on dates and focus on us.
I hope my daughter sees that I took the time to create essential moments with her and her brother while also balancing my marriage to her daddy and time for my own personal self.
And I hope she remembers the times I made mistakes and then took the steps to fix them.
I hope she remembers it all – playing chase together and all the moments in between.