There are so many “great debates” in motherhood: Breastfeeding vs. Bottle feeding. Co-sleeping vs. sleep training. Hospital birth vs. home birth. Why does it have to be “versus” — can’t we use the term “or” instead? Is there really only one “right way” to parent? The fact that there isn’t may be the one thing we all can agree on!
For those of us who were raised in hyper-critical households, we may have inherited a very rigid sense of the “right way”. Sometimes, this can create in us a very judgmental and short-sighted adult, particularly once we are outside of this small bubble we grew up in. By thinking there is only one way to do things, we hurt ourselves and those around us. Parenting is hard enough without the added weight of trying to do it perfectly and trying to keep up with the standards of those around us. Every single child and life circumstance is different, and both are huge factors in the decisions we make. So when I came across this Yahoo article on screen time I just had to share my thoughts.
Screen time — there’s no perfect answer.
The idea of limiting screen time to a specific amount of time a day is great in theory, and it could be a good goal but it’s not always the most realistic or best advice because it doesn’t leave room for real life circumstances and the “exceptions.” Our household rules may begin to look like English grammar, where all the rules have exceptions – “i before e except after c, or when followed by g, as in neighbor or weight.” Mom’s rules might become something like, “Screen time: 20 minutes a day except when mom needs a break or Joey is sick.”
I used to smile at the parent who let their toddlers play with smart phones and iPads in waiting rooms, because I thought in my mind I would be different. I would use the provided books and puzzles to entertain my kids one day. It was like I thought I would be a better parent than they were. Nope, I’m not — my child has had plenty of screen time! And not only in waiting rooms, but also in the car, out and about, and at home. Maybe too much, maybe not enough – I’m just doing the best I can with the cards we’ve been dealt.
When it comes down to it, I’m still a huge advocate of limiting screen time and teaching kids to use their imagination, play outdoors, and have real conversations with each other. But I also want to leave room for the exceptions and the circumstances like moving day for a new house, sick kids, work, etc. In those moments, when all you’re doing is making it by, remember you’re the only one that sees your hand – don’t worry about what the “perfect” mom-next-door thinks.
After life settles down here are some ideas to start limiting screen time:
1. Reconnect with your kids. Make taking away the screen associated with a good thing. They say it takes 3 days to break a habit, those can either be three horribly miserable days OR opt for 3 incredibly fun days. Grab a white board and brainstorm all your favorite things to do together. Have your kids turn the screens in and exchange them for a “super-fun-day pass.” This pass might include their favorite meals, going to the park, heading out with mom to get ice-cream, playing their favorite board games, etc. Especially if you have just gone through a rough patch and that’s why the kids had added screen time! A bonding day to re-connect will be just what your kids need.
2. Create a routine/schedule with very clear times when the kids can have screens. Make the schedule something they can easily see and understand.
3. Make a rewards jar and have kids earn screen time. This makes them feel like they have control of screen time.
4. Create a No Bored Jar so the kids have things to do besides screens when they are bored.
5. If you have more ideas, please leave a comment so the rest of us moms have more options to try!
At the end of the day, here’s to letting one another parent, each just doing what we can, the best we can. Cheers.
What are your thoughts on screen time for kids and parenting debates in general? Come tell us over on our Facebook!
Read Yahoo’s article on screen time here.
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.
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